Summertime is Family Time

Volume 65. July 6, 2025

Summer is the perfect time for family get-togethers.

Cooking outdoors, eating ice cream and engaging in enjoyable conversation are satisfying family bonding experiences.

For the deep thinkers among us, however, there always seems to be a niggling question: Who exactly is my family?

Jesus had a insightful answer. The story goes like this.

While Jesus was talking to a crowded room, his mother and brothers stood outside the door, wanting to speak to him.

Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”

Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is brother and sister and mother to me.”

As Jesus makes clear, when we get beyond our ego and seek a higher reality, we are on the path of wisdom.

So, how does the Buddha handle this familial question?

The answer is found in an influential work from the Mahayana canon, the Vimalakirti Sutra. It was written about the same time as the Christian gospels, in the first century of the Common Era.

Like Jesus, Vimalakirti was an enlightened being come down from heaven to teach spiritual wisdom. Unlike Jesus, Vimalakirti was a wealthy layman and a friend of the Buddha.

One day Vimalakirti was asked, “Layman, your father and mother, wife and children, relatives and friends — who are they?”

Vimalakirti replied, “Wisdom is my mother. Skillful means which relieve people from suffering and lead them to enlightenment are my father. Dharma joy is my wife. Compassion are my daughters. Sincerity are my sons. Tranquility is my dwelling. The elements of the Way are my friends. Virtue is my companion.”

Do we see a pattern here?

For those on the spiritual path, traditional terms for relatives are inadequate because all human beings are part of our family.

Our country is currently embroiled in a bitter battle over the treatment of immigrants. One side sees them as criminals. The other side sees them as members of our human family.

Treating immigrants with cruelty shows the despicable behavior of an unethical, non-spiritual mind.

Ultimately, both sides want the same thing: peace.

How do we get there?

Roman Catholic Saint Mother Teresa spoke for Vimalakirti when she gave this advice: “What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.”

So, bro, sis, amigo, anyone up for a cookout this summer?